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: THE GOOD,THE BARD...AND THE CUDDLY! : by Ralph Jones from downunder. : Shakespearian devotees worldwide are in rapture : over a significant "find," a manuscript by the : Bard,authenticated by leading historian Brace : Yoreself and ninety-year-old Yubet Idug-distant relative of the great man himself and part-time : document verification expert of 'x-piles'fame. : Mr Yoreself trembled as he read the frail parchment to a worldwide audience via CNN. : Shakespeare's love of his silky-haired beagle : was evident.These are the acclaimed poet's words verbatim. : "Was staring out yon window of abode pon chill : blustery night,bemused methinks at the antics of March,the local tannery door-to-door seller of Ides.'Be off with yon smelly Ides',saith I as he thundered pon oaken door. The devil spake slyly.'O Shakes...ye silky-haired beagle Tobias has bin snatched by local dog catcher and impounded!' : "Cried did I as I tarried not to yon shelter pon : March's shoulders.Was shown in to pound whereupon : my eyes were thunderstruck!No less than 1OO silky- : haired beagles ranting pon me! I,confused, : ran from one dog to the other searching for my : Toby.Sat pon bench screaming and crying my sonnets off.Finally I rose,mightily confused. : Toby,or not Toby-THAT is the question.Had to take : all dogs home hither,lest March claim my Toby's : ide.Blasted dog!" : : NOTE:Any poison or poisons unknown trying to screw : up my Mondegreenic stupidity will be villified. : Personally,I'de rather write and perform comedy : than to reinact a "Midsummer Nights scream 2" :

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